Author: Sockren
Rating: G
Genre: At, Drama, Yaoi
Pairing: Ed x Roy
Status: Complete
Summary: They stood in front of a row of cages, arguing quite loudly.
For: jrufirefly

They stood in front of a row of cages, arguing quite loudly. It was loud enough that cats and dogs all along the row stood up and yowled, barked or hee-hawed for attention. However, neither of the combatants would be disturbed from their fight. It wasn’t even so much that they were completely at polar ends of the subject. In reality, they just loved fighting.

“Cats,” the shorter man said evenly. “They’re lower maintenance than dogs and you don’t have to baby-sit them every five seconds.”

“Dogs,” replied the Fuhrer. Now that a parliament had been put into place in Amestris, the Fuhrer only controlled the military and was firmly checked by votes of the people. Still, no one could resist a handsome face and he certainly was an important figure. “They’re more loyal than cats and will stick with you through thick and thin.”

“Cats,” the red-coated man insisted. The garment itself was wearing thin and the Fuhrer made a mental note to buy him a new one. Then, he tuned his lover out and adopted the famous ‘I’m not listening’ tactic by sticking his fingers in his ears. “They don’t let you walk them. Thus, you don’t have to walk them.”

“Dogs,” the military-man declared. “They bark in warning if danger is near!”

The practical comment might have won him the argument until the younger man chimed in with, “Cats. They’ve been known to wake people from fires, meow or hiss just as loudly as dogs when burglars or coyotes are near and they’re skilled at keeping rodents off the premises.”

“You do realize that you currently do experiments on mice and have been trapping and using the ones at home and that, if a cat kills the mice, you have to go buy them,” the blue uniformed man pointed out.

“Actually,” a woman passing by said, “a dog will kill mice as well! In fact, some breeds, like terriers, were bred specifically for that purpose!”

The Fuhrer sent her a look that had her scurrying off to the back office and then he turned his attention back to the rows of cages.

“Dogs can bring down larger animals than cats can,” the Fuhrer whispered. “Your cats can’t equal that, Fullmetal.”

“Yeah,” Fullmetal replied. “Because my cats don’t care. They’re too busy staying in the house and sleeping all day. Now you tell me who is smarter. Actually, I’m starting to think cats resemble you. I mean, on a day when your arthritis is kicking in all you do is bask in the sun.”

The insult seemed more affectionate and tamed than Edward’s usual fare and Mustang ran a hand through graying hair. “Dogs are more intelligent and can learn a greater variety of tricks,” the man pleaded slightly.

Edward rolled his eyes. “Cats are more intelligent. They tell you to fuck off.”

Pausing for a moment, the Fuhrer studied the cage in front of him. Inside, a small kitten curled up against the expanse of an old golden retriever. The animals were settled and licked at each other’s noses occasionally.

“It would be a pity to separate them,” Mustang said, nudging Edward in the direction of the cage. Edward ran his fingers through the edge of his grayed braid, redoing the last knot and then looked up, rubber band caught between his teeth.

“Mph das mph ears,” he said after a moment and Roy just looked at him like he was insane.

Time made it so that ignoring each other was more convenient than outright insulting each other. “We get both,” Edward said. “The animals will be happy and I’ll be amused.”

“Why?” Mustang asked.

“The dog’s older,” Edward responded, flashing a smile and pushing his spectacles up his nose. “So yours will die first.”